A gentleman from Liverpool who inherited the running of the Hare & Sheaf from a father-in-law who was initially wary of an incomer - a black one at that - and now could wish for no better heir. John took to the life of a publican like a duck to water, and whilst he occasionally pulls out a "Man from the Cannibal Isles" bit for laughs or to scare off rowdy drunks over from neighbouring villages, the village shares his faint pride in being at least partially descended from the men of Brutus: a lineage stretching out into legend, long before the Saxon past.

He's warmly welcoming and level-headed, sharp but fair, and keeps his family in comfort. Rumoured to have devastating information on half the village. Does not believe there's any such thing as harmless flirting when it comes to his daughters.